In the era of the internet things like porn cinemas and jazz mags have become largely a thing of the past. Not so in thia Japanese city, with a porn cinema in Osaka not just surviving, but seemingly thriving.
Ladies and gentlemen we present the Shinsekai Toei Cinema one of the slightly weirder things you can do on a night out with your mates.
Porno Cinemas in Japan
Back in the golden age of VHS Japan was one of the pioneers of the porn industry. Adult cinemas were everywhere, from Tokyo to Fukuoka. And it wasn’t just a seedy thing, there was a mainstream element to it, with major companies pumping out so-called pink films that sometimes even hit the regular cinemas. But like most things, time and the internet came and took a big steaming dump on the industry. Why pay to watch a film in a theatre when you can get full HD filth at home for free with no one breathing near you?
The laws are also bizarre to say the least. While Japanese porn films are required by law to censor genitals and pubic hair, there’s absolutely no law against watching this censored content in a public place. No penetration is shown on screen but that doesn’t stop folks from getting their rocks off. Many of these places also doubled as hook-up spots for gay men and some still do. The boom faded heavily during the 2000s and now just a few of these porno palaces remain, mostly frequented by the old, the lonely, the curious and the downright creepy.
One of the last bastions of the genre is the Shinsekai Toei Cinema in Osaka.
Shinsekai Toei Cinema
Located in the ageing yet iconic Shinsekai area of Osaka, which feels a bit like Japan in the 1960s, the Toei Cinema stands out more for what it shows than how it looks. There’s no real effort to hide what it is. A giant screen, posters of films with pixelated bits and a vibe that says you’re either about to watch porn or fall asleep. Possibly both.
Inside is dark, cold and smells vaguely of disinfectant and sadness. There’s about 40 seats and a couple of old dudes spaced out like chess pieces. No one talks. Everyone is either sleeping, watching or, well, you can guess the third option.
What really shocked me was the vending machine. Not just soft drinks but actual beer. Cold beers for sale in a porn cinema. That’s Japan for you. And the snack stand wasn’t bad either. I got a bag of popcorn and a can of Asahi and enjoyed the weirdest cinema night of my life.
They also have a HUGE selection of old school porn DVD’s for sale for just a few bucks each. Yes I purchased one. No I won’t say which.
Gay, Straight or Samurai
So, then you get the film selection, which comes in three colours. Blue, pink and yellow. You can probably guess where it goes from here, but blue is straight, pink is gay and yellow is Samurai. And with the tickets being just below $10 the latter is probably not a bad option. Of course I wanted to see a gay Samurai, but ya can’t always get what ya want.
As for the films themselves? Well this was the second time I had actually come to Shinsekai Toei Cinema and by and large the films were of a similar ilk. I’ll qualify I am talking blue ticket right now OK. What is served here is soft-core porn with a loose storyline that is at best from the 90s. I really cannot say more than that. On neither of my visits did guys stay for longer than 20 minutes.
Why are people visiting a porno cinema in Osaka
Well for me and my group it was all about the retro and dare I say amusing experience that it was. This is because in the old days and back in the day this was how people watched porn. Yet while this was our reason for going, we were not the only people there, nor are we the patrons keeping it alive. So, this begs the question, who is going to porno cinemas in Osaka.
Now while I do not have a full answer for this I do at least have a clue. I personally fell asleep during the film (that is how bad my sex life is) and apparently a guy in front of me decided to “pleasure himself”. Therefore I surmise that it is the exhibitionist and indeed the voyeur that get their jollies here.
And for us at least it was all about a full Extremes of Japan Tour. Japan can be one of the most rigid countries in the world, but boy does it sure have kinks.
Address of Porno Cinema in Osaka AKA Shinsekai Toei Cinema
Shinsekai Toei Cinema
1 Chome-18-12 Ebisuhigashi, Naniwa Ward
Osaka, 556-0002, Japan
Open: 10am to midnight
Tickets: around 1300 yen (about $9)
Official site: http://www.toeishinsekaikan.com/
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